ANOTHER DOCTOR
TAGS: self-insert, selfship, silly, soda, fluff, light-hearted, laughter, epilogue, ficlet, The Doctor mentioned, established relationship, comedy, confusion, explanations, writing exercise, smile, one-shot, love, domestic fluff, interspecies, interspecies relationship, otherkin, comfort, happy, comfort no hurt, funny, no beta we die like the master
A/N: a silly fic I wrote on the morning of april 13th 2024 as a part of a little writing sprint challenge in a doctor who discord server I'm in! I just though the idea was sooooooo funny so it served as great writing inspiration. hopefully you get as much amusement out of this as I did. also it's not directly stated but it is slightly touched on so I'll explain it here. my self insert in this fic (mimi fortunato) is otherkin, so they appear human and grew up being treated as a human but they aren't one, and by now (since this fic is established relationship) rassilon knows this
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"Mimi?" Rassilon called out to his beloved. They were reading a book, and they closed it and gave their attention to the Time Lord when he approached. "What's up?" They looked up at him from their beanbag chair and asked their question casually. Being in a romantic relationship with the Lord President of all Time Lords never failed to make them both feel both intimidated by Rassilon and honored that he chose them to be his romantic partner, but after a few years one becomes comfortable with being casual around him.
"I have a question." Rassilon dragged a separate bean bag chair next to Mimi and sat down. "I know you're not human, but you still lived on Earth for a very long time. Do you remember it, Mimi?" Rassilon asked this because despite being from Earth, Mimi has been living with Rassilon on Gallifrey for years now. And Rassilon knew that Mimi was prone to memory loss, so he just wanted to make sure.
"Um…" Mimi tilted their head right and left as they spun the question around in their mind. "Parts of it. Depends on what you want to know." "Alright." Rassilon nodded in understanding. "What I want to know is... who is Dr. Pepper?"
Mimi jetted upwards from their seat and covered their mouth as they let out a "SNRRKKK!" They were heavily stifling a laugh since they knew Rassilon was being serious. But they couldn't help but smile. "Sorry, I'm sorry..." They said between stifled giggles, unable to shake the smirk that crept up the corners of their mouth. They removed their hand from their mouth and took a moment to take a few breaths. "Ok. Ok sorry for laughing." Mimi said as they pulled themself together.
Rassilon watched with great confusion at their reaction, but he waited for it to play out before asking, "Why is it comedic?"
"Well..." Mimi had successfully pulled themself together now, but they still couldn't shake the smile of amusement now clear as day on their face. "Do you know what soda is?" Mimi couldn't believe they were asking this question to a Gallifreyan Time Lord. But sometimes the two of them did go back to Earth on occasion, to visit, and so Mimi can show Rassilon some of the things that were very commonplace to them. But they couldn't remember if soda was one of those.
Rassilon took a moment to think about it, racking his hundreds of years worth of memories for any recollection of the word "soda." He thought... and thought... until he finally had his answer. "I'm afraid not."
"Okay." Mimi furrowed their eyebrows in response. This was going to be hard to explain. "So... you know drinks."
"Yes."
"So... imagine a drink, with lots of bubbles in it."
"Bubbles in it?" Now it was Rassilon's turn to furrow his eyebrows. "Why?"
"For... y'know..." Mimi never really thought about why soda was carbonated before. It took them a minute to formulate something. "It's a texture thing. It feels like... kinda fizzy. It makes it pleasant."
"Alright." Rassilon didn’t fully get the picture quite yet, but he tried his best to imagine something.
"So that's what soda is. Oh, and it's really sweet. Like almost sickeningly sweet. I mean, there's all different flavors, but they're all really, um... potent. But people love it. It's a little unhealthy, but it's one of those things that's great in moderation, y'know?"
"I see." Rassilon said. "But why are you explaining this to me?"
"Why am I- Oh! Right!" Mimi had already forgotten the topic at hand. Right. Dr. Pepper. Hahaha, Dr. Pepper... Mimi couldn't help but giggle again at remembering Rassilon's initial question. "Dr. Pepper is..." They stifled another laugh. "Dr. Pepper isn't a person, Rassilon. It's a brand of soda."
"Oh." Rassilon felt a bit embarrassed. He took a pause as he looked away. "Forgive my obliviousness."
Mimi noticed this tonal shift in his attitude. "Hey, it's ok!" They shone him a reassuring smile, still sprinkled with a hint of amusement that they just couldn't shake. "It's not your fault you didn't know. Nothing to feel bad about. Why are you asking about Dr. Pepper anyway?"
Rassilon appreciated Mimi's reassurance. He looked back at them. "When you hear years worth of consistent chatter all over Earth about a doctor, one starts to worry if a certain Time Lord has adopted a new name onto his alias."
Ooohhhhhh. This was about The Doctor. "Well then you've got nothing to worry about." Mimi reached up and gave a small pat to Rassilon's head. "How about this? Next time we go to Earth, we'll get some Dr. Pepper and you can drink your worries away! How's that sound?" Mimi tried to ease his worries. Please work, please work...
Rassilon couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Consider it done. Thank you for easing me, my sweet." Yessss, it worked! Mimi couldn't help but do a small celebratory fist pump.
"Of course." Mimi answered. "You never shun me for my silly questions, so who would I be if I did the same to you?" Yet another reminder at how much Mimi appreciated Rassilon's love and consideration.
"I suppose you're right." Rassilon smiled contently. His love truly was reciprocated fully, wasn't it? Mimi could've so easily mocked him for asking a "stupid" question, but instead they understood him and answered it genuinely. Truly Mimi is the one he'll be with for the rest of time.
- EPILOGUE -
"There you are, Rassilon! Your first ever can of Dr. Pepper. And your first ever soda, too! Enjoy!" Mimi beamed excitedly as they handed Rassilon the can. "It's quite a unique experience. I hope you like it."
"Interesting." Rassilon took it in his hand and inspected it. "Do you open it from the top here?"
"Yeah, you just push that tab onto the little circle part and it opens."
"I understand." Rassilon said, and as he does with other closed drinks, he gave it a shake for good measure. Mimi watched in horror.
"WAIT, RASSILON DON'T!" Mimi exclaimed.
"Don't what?" Rassilon reached for the tab. "Wha-" FWOOOOOOOOSH!
A/N: the epilogue is based on that video "coca cola espuma"